Beavertail Paper Weight

This a paper weight.  It's meant to weigh down your papers, and that's it.  All sharp edges have been rounded off to ensure your papers don't get cut, broken, or bruised.  This is the only paper weight that, when used properly, is guaranteed to bring those rebellious papers back into the circle of blessing. It's important to fully understand the effects of this paper weight, therefore I highly recommend using this paper weight on yourself before applying it to any papers. The protection of our papers is the highest priority.  Any misuse of this paper weight outside its intended purpose may result in reporting to the proper paper authorities.